Grandpa Neil

I hesitate to share this in such a public setting, but I really feel like I should. :)

This picture is of my Grandpa Neil holding my mom when she was 10 days old. (We think Courtlyn kind of looks like her here.) (Wow, I just realized that means this picture was taken exactly 45 years ago, tomorrow.) (Sorry for divulging your age, mom. :) )



His face is so filled with love that it nearly brings tears to my eyes every time I look at it. My Grandpa Neil passed away from pancreatic cancer when my mom was 19 years old. Therefore, I never knew him. At least not in this life. Even so, I have from time to time felt very close to him. When I was a little girl, I remember dreaming of him. I would tell my parents things of him that I didn't have any way of knowing. For some reason, I felt bonded to him. I loved him!

As I got older, those experiences became less and less frequent, until they stopped all together. I was 7 or 8 years old the last time I remember "feeling" him. I didn't think of him often at all after that. Until last summer.

My mom and I went to Texas last August to visit my grandma. While were there we went "treasure hunting" in her garage. This picture was easily the greatest treasure we found. We took it to the photo lab and made copies for each of us to have.

That night, I could not sleep. Everyone else had long drifted off, so I sat downstairs in the quiet, with this picture in my hand. From the time we found it, I just couldn't help but want to stare at it. His eyes are so captivating. (Okay, I know this is probably the most "flowery" post EVER, but there is no other way for me to describe it.)

As I sat there, suddenly all those feelings I remembered having as a little girl came flooding back. My eyes welled with tears, and I KNEW he was there with me. It was undeniable and so incredible. I'll never forget it.

Fast forward to about a month before I had Courtlyn.

Landon and I were having lunch, but we were both kind of quiet. Landon is NEVER quiet and coherent at the same time, so I was certainly enjoying it. :) Then Landon started to talk, but I couldn't understand what he was saying. After a minute or so, I finally figured out what he was talking about. Or WHO, rather.

This is an excerpt from an email I sent my grandma not long thereafter:

Speaking of Grandpa, I have to tell you something crazy but so heartwarming. The other day Landon was talking about wanting to see Grandpa so-and-so but I couldn't figure out the name he was saying because it didn't sound like any of his grandpa's. Then I finally figured it out. He was talking about Grandpa Neil. When I asked him if it was Grandpa Neil he wanted to see he said, "YEAH!!". It nearly brought tears to my eyes.

When I didn't hear back from her, I got worried. But a few days later I received a hand written letter in the mail from her:

Lace,

I just read your e-mail. Grandpa was very close to you. You knew him like Landon when you didn't. At times like this there is a new life so close I think our loved ones watch over us a little closer.

She goes on, but I'd rather save the rest of it for just my family.



Anyway, like I said, I don't know why I felt I should share that, but I did. Maybe even just to have it written here in the closest thing I have to a journal. These experiences strengthen my testimony even more of the promise we have of everlasting life and eternal families. I hope that my children can feel the same love for their ancestors the way that I do. It has been such a blessing in my life.